The #MeToo movement is making sex great again
Sexual intercourse, Philip Larkin famously wrote, began in 1963. And listening to contemporary commentators, you’d think that it came to an end in 2017 with the birth of the #MeToo movement. For these...
View ArticleStop calling me ‘a privileged white man’ – I’m more than that
I got some bad news this week. I discovered that I’m a ‘privileged, white male’. It was my agent who broke it to me. We were talking about the trouble he’s having in finding a publisher for my book — a...
View ArticleHow a British ‘lord’ rebranded middle-class swinger parties as ‘posh’ orgies
The English love a story of posh people behaving badly, especially one that involves sex, drugs or drink — preferably all three at once — in some stately home or Mayfair pad. In 1963, following the...
View ArticleHands free: I’ve joined a new kind of abstinence movement
Eight years ago, I had an erotic epiphany. It was around midnight: I had sex on the brain and porn on my laptop. Suddenly, everything felt wrong and a wave of sadness washed over me. I felt like some...
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Daddy issues: the fatherhood revolution has failed
This article is in The Spectator’s October 2019 US edition. Subscribe here. When I was growing up in the late 1960s, boys like me craved the admiration and approval of our dads; we wanted nothing more...
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OK zoomer
This article is in The Spectator’s December 2019 US edition. Subscribe here. Every generation and teen subculture likes to put the boot into baby boomers like me. I’ve been physically attacked by...
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Time to end the taste truce
This article is in The Spectator’s November 2019 US edition. Subscribe here. We fight ‘culture wars’ over a wide range of issues — race, gender, sexuality, power and privilege. But the one culture war...
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I spent Christmas Day helping the homeless – and I was bored out of my mind
When I told friends that I would be spending Christmas Day helping the homeless at a Crisis at Christmas center in north London, they all congratulated me for doing something good for someone else. And...
View ArticleMy war of words
Whatever your profession, envy is something we all know. A colleague’s promotion or a friend’s pay increase prompts that inner voice of brattish resentment. Envy is the herpes of competitive...
View ArticleDo women really like porn?
I keep meeting women who claim they love porn as much as men do. The rise in the number of female porn consumers seems to confirm this is a trend. The popular internet porn site Pornhub reports that...
View ArticleWe’ve become a nation of armchair psychiatrists
Are we becoming a nation of amateur psychoanalysts and armchair psychiatrists? We all speak the language of therapy and are quick to diagnose and label friends, strangers and even loved ones. Prince...
View ArticleAmericans, London needs you
‘Nobody wants to admit it, but London was boring even before the pandemic — and it’s still boring now!’ I said. We were at a London drinks party. The guy retaliated with a smirk and that old Dr Johnson...
View ArticlePersonal grooming on date night
Recently, I got dumped by a woman I was crazy about. To cut a long sob story short, here I am 67 years old and facing the future alone. Gulp. Dumped. I can’t believe it! ‘Dumped’ has to be the most...
View ArticleWould you go to a naked dining club?
Why would anyone want to dine in the nude with other nude diners? Yes, I get being nude on a sunny beach. Swimming nude. Walking nude. But eating nude in public? What’s the appeal? Why leave your...
View ArticleIt’s no longer just clean eaters who are the health bores
David Hockney has just endorsed a series of specially designed beer mats, created by an artist called Mr Bingo, that display a cigarette in an ashtray with the slogan: “Bored with wellness.” He went on...
View ArticleDid the culture wars kill the New Year’s Eve party?
It’s hard to celebrate New Year’s Eve when, if like me, you don’t drink, you don’t do drugs, you don’t have sex with skanky strangers in sleazy toilets anymore — and you like to be in bed by 9 p.m. My...
View ArticleOf human bondage
Recently, at a London dinner party, I found myself sitting next to a beautiful young woman with a PhD in physics and a passion for bondage. At first I thought: I’ve hit the jackpot!...
View ArticleSucceeding at failing
My London agent calls to break the news gently. “Your book is dead. I can’t sell it. Sorry. But you do have the most fabulous collection of rejections from publishers I’ve ever read.” “Really? Can you...
View ArticleThe rise of the Busy People
I have a friend who’s always very busy. So busy that we rarely see each other. But I know that she’s very busy because when we talk on the phone and I ask “How are you?” she always says the same thing:...
View ArticleI’m tired of being a good friend
I would do anything to help a friend. Need money? A shoulder to cry on? A place to stay? A confidant to confess to? I’m your man. Want me to read your new novel? Forget it. I would do anything for a...
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